The Magic Of The Face

We were invited to an Engagement Party/Wedding Shower of a family friend. I tell you this to set the scene, this is no judgement and in fact very sweet that we were included. When I say we, I mean the spousal unit, the 'Rent and myself. Since the Shower was not taking place until 7 PM the 'Rent informs me that she would like to get her nails did before the Shower, and while 7PM is later than most Bridal Showers, we can obviously go get that done and then go to the Shower. Because I always get my nails done before going to a nice party, as in IMMEDIATELY BEFORE going to a nice party. But this is the 'Rent after all, and nothing ever really makes any sense to me because as I have stated her logic train has no doors. My spouse, not being one for large occasions of this nature is driving us to the salon and then the Shower. He has apparently launched the "Let's scare the living shit out the the 'Rent-in-law campaign by driving like a mad man in my little stick sh...

I have been bouncing back and forth between normal and psycho lately. And not really for any real reason other than I probably spend to much time in my head. While this is nothing new, apparently some days my INTERNAL filter is jammed up with crud and I can't get to one mental frequency of normal, or at least normal for me. In the mean time as I bounce within my mental rubber room, I am presented with updates on a certain social media site which reminds me that I am being a total freak for no reason. At this time, knock Formica, no one in my immediate family is ill. I have a steady if somewhat tedious job, and I have wonderful friends that love and support me and keep me laughing at myself when I need to do so. The updates I get remind me that many of those people I have as friends while neither immediately accessible by car, and or time and distance have caused a lapse in communication, are facing LIFE CHANGING / THREATENING situations. What I tend to do in these situations is...

I will preface this by saying that I was indeed in a lousy mood yesterday afternoon. The 'Rent and I had hair appointments last night. In case I haven't made this clear, I am not allowed alone time. If there is a function that requires an appointment, I am REQUIRED to ensure that she and I can go to the appointments at the same time. Translation for those of you playing along at home: "It will save a trip (Screw your sanity)". I also need to point out that the hair appointment was at 6:30 PM and her ass was dressed and ready to go at 11:00 AM and "Where are we going for dinner afterwards?" So once my daily function of work was completed I go to gather the 'Rent up for the journey. She has to gather her gear, this being her Oxygen concentrator (that through charging too much no longer holds a charge for more than 3 hours (it is supposed to last 8) her purse, the luggage cart for the concentrator and the car charger for the concentrator. She hops on her ...

As life continues it's inevitable march forward and we all tick off some age related landmark or another, as a general rule we gather information that moves along with us. And while it is useful and wonderful to accumulate, I wonder why there wasn't a handbook of how to navigate the "Oh Shit" moments BEFORE we got there. I know, I know. Someone will tell me that there are parents that have that knowledge to pass along. But in reality if you stop and think about it, most likely they were still trying to gather enough knowledge to just get along without killing their children through sheer frustration and surviving each day as it comes. It is like a never ending cycle of Craptastic Revelations with no end in site because NO ONE CAN PAUSE long enough in their paddle up Schit's Creek to help out a fellow paddler. AND by the time they have the knowledge that is worth passing along, the children have entered the age where anyone older is too stupid and vapid to take a...

I have come to the realization that over all, I am a fairly brazen individual. I fall in the bottom of the birth order and from my own personal observations, we tend to be a demanding, attention seeking bunch. As my new hero pointed out yesterday I say the things other people are thinking. Mostly it is too myself or as an aside because while I may be snarky I don't like to hurt people intentionally. I seem to do just fine processing that particular function without intent. No need to add to the mayhem frankly. So last night my new Hero and I signed up for pedicures. There was a promotion by a salon not too far from the office that advertised Pedicures with Gellish/shelac (uber durable polish and or plastic for nails) for $15. This is not a HUGE deal, but it was a new idea and an excuse for a girls night out. So we sign up online, call to make our appointments and off we go. We arrive at a nice upscale salon. Lovely decor, with hair on one side, nails on the other. We get i...

My sleep is all jacked up. Apparently I have a bladder that acts as my alarm clock whether it is in reality, time for me to wake up, or not. That wake up time appears to be creeping closer and closer to 3 AM each day. This also marks the, you have had just enough sleep to not be able to lay back down and go back to sleep, line of demarcation. So I have been awake since roughly 3:30AM. In defiance of my body's defiance, I stayed laying down in bed reading until my duly appointed wake up time as indicated by the ALARM CLOCK I EMPLOY FOR THE PURPOSE OF WAKING MY ASS UP. I was already tired yesterday so today is going to be a BIG TIRED & CRANKY BALL O' SUCK. This translates to tiny stupid mishaps are going to mount and mount in my reality to ensure I am totally off balance for the entirety of my day. 1) While finished my morning ablutions, I am interrupted by one of my critters dragging her butt across the floor. I scream, she runs, the spouse asks what the problem is, I ...

I have been making an effort lately to be more girly. Mostly for me and my less than feminine side, but also for my long suffering spouse. My favorite attire for as long as I can remember has been jeans and t-shirts or over sized men's dress shirts. Needless to say my spouse would like me to ONCE IN A WHILE make an effort to look like a girl. So I have been getting my hairs did, my nails did, and I now wear make-up every day. This is a HUGE concession since for the first 35 years or so, make-up was the exception, not the rule. I don't do as much on the weekends but I still do wear some. Which is only fair considering he only sees me on the weekends technically. I have been wearing jewelry. Not just jewelry but big blingy things. It is almost like I finally decided to play dress up (which I didn't really do as a child) but now I have the means to put some sparkly costume dress up stuff on and I can go out in public, like an adult show and tell. I probably fall into the ...