The Magic Of The Face

This all should really have come before the Congress post, but, well, Congress was in session, so forming coherent thought was not really an option until I got all of the various parties settled for the time being. I need to start this whole 'Rent-In-Law story by setting the scene, so you can fully comprehend where my brain and emotions were prior to the Unexpected, Unannounced visit. Let me preface this preface with the 'Rent-In-Law, having been here at Thanksgiving stated in no uncertain terms, that we were EXPLICITLY not to send an invitation to him for our niece's wedding because it would not be used, no way no how. The Spousal Unit and I have an early May anniversary. As I may have mentioned previously we work on opposite shifts so we see each other, quite literally, less than 24 waking hours in a whole week. The anniversary fell on a weeknight, and so I was not really going to see him with the exception of the hour that he gets up and gets ready for work. I

I have a friend who told me once that all of the crazy that goes on with our internal voices is called Congress being in session. Mine is in full swing. There has been so much going on in the world at large, but being the misogynistic ass I am, most of what I have been thinking about has been MY STUFF. Random thoughts really. Many Many Many Random Thoughts. I know I am flawed. Hell, I am not flawed, I am downright broken. We all are. We are all these hollow cracked shells that hide the internal soup of life that we are. I don't know how anyone can make it to adulthood without cracks, and if they have, then more power to them. Personally, I want to add some antiquing medium to mine to give them more character. And I am not ashamed of being broken. I am exactly the way I am supposed to be. I am beautiful in my brokenness, just like we all are. Still dealing with the steady decline of the 'Rent's health. The emotional toll it is taking on me is much greater than I let on

Don't you wish you could rewind time for just a moment? Go back to the age where a temper tantrum would get you  banished from a group or to your room for a moment of peace? Well you still can, but technically as an adult that is called being an asshole, and generally you lose more than some time. You lose respect, dignity and if you are lucky, not all of your friends.  I have to admit lately, not that anyone has said or done anything to deserve it, but I really feel like being an asshole and driving everyone away. I feel a rage building inside that I am not sure I can explain. Nah, that's not true, I can explain it. It just sounds like I have been an asshole my whole life, at least the version in my head versus who I am today based on the circumstances of my life such as they are now. And taking that into consideration and explaining it makes me sound like a selfish whiny shit.  If you have read even one thing I have written about the 'Rent, then you know that

As we age, we are often presented with situations that will test us, will push us, and will make us stand up, or fall. The last two weeks have forced me to do some of this and be the victim of some of it, mostly because of the memory of the man who raised me. I don't misuse the word raised. In every sense of the word, my father did just that. I was fortunate enough to have him in my day to day life from a much earlier period in my life than my siblings and that had a profound effect on the woman I am today. I know many people would say this same thing, I just wonder if their reasons would be the same. My father was my parent, my teacher, my warden, my hero, my friend. Mostly my friend even when I didn't feel that way. He came from Czechoslovakia on a boat to escape war torn Europe as a young boy of 8. He didn't speak English. His parents, his sister and he were brought over by family. Sounds nice, right? Wrong. They were brought over as manual labor. They worked lo

Howdy all (or few...) it has been a while. Work has been so crazy for the last several months that it hasn't left a whole lot of room for Life. Another reason for the long delay is that, while it is always fun to relate the latest insanity perpetrated by the 'Rent, the reality is my Mother is dying. I know I have said this in the past. But lately the decline has become more evident daily and it is harder and harder to pretend that this is a "some time down the road" thing. In light of that fact, making fun of her in print seems petty and mean spirited. I am many things but mean spirited is not one of my finer qualities. This is not to say I won't document some epic stupidity of hers should the need arise, but most likely we are going to be quiet for a while. I feel like I need to figure out how to deal with this new reality that I am facing. I never in a million years thought I would be my mother's end of life care taker, nor did I think I would be deal