Showing posts from 2012

Out with the old.......

So the calendar year is moments away from coming to a close. And the whole cycle starts over again. For some strange reason, we as a people put all of our hopes and dreams of being able to be better, newer, shinier versions of ourselves if we can JUST start on the first of the year.

The reality is that we are evolving and changing in ways we never imagined each and every day. We just stop and think on this night of nights that we get a new start, clean slate, Do Over, whatever you want to call it.

We all make these promises to ourselves and friends about changing this or doing this, or stopping that. We can do that each and every day without needing a special reason for it. I agree it is a new start. Why can't it be a new start of the year where you are just going to be a better you. Not someone that reaches some perfect weight goal. Or quits smoking, or stops swearing or starts going to church. Those are choices we made every day. Placing an arbitrary starting line on your goal i…

Still Kicking

Well I am home and healing. Learned first hand what an allergic reaction is and that I now have them to certain antibiotics. My whole life I have been the N/A person on forms, apparently that is no longer true. But hey, we can just learn something new every day right? Right.

Thank goodness for certain family members who overall, are far more sane than others. My sister-in-law is a saint. I say this for two reasons, A) she really is an amazing person and B) she survived being married into this dysfunctional and bizarre cavalcade of shit we call a family. She warned me that after my surgery I would probably be a little crazy for about three months. I haven't been completely there but I am working on some good moment by moment insanity in my head that I have to keep beating back to reality.

The reality is that even before the surgery I was a little long in the tooth, as they say, to be birthing a child. And having done more research on a genetic predisposition we inherited through th…

A totally rational conversation.... I almost got that out without laughing

Yesterday was the BIG, go get all the information, sign the forms, and face the reality of looming surgery, day.

Overall, I was able to survive it. I did however have a moment that stopped me in my tracks and while I know damn well what a hysterectomy is and what the end results of said hysterectomy is, it was very hard to face the very kind pretty lady who hands me a form and states this says you are acknowledging we are sterilizing you,

Yes I am totally aware of that, however looking at it in writing, in capital letters with lines for you to sign an initial, caused a side trip to another place in my psyche reserved for my come apart moments in the privacy of my daily life that I tend to prevent witnesses from participating in.

So I smiled politely. I signed the form. I gave them blood. I spoke to the juice doctor who will be putting me under for the festivities and I am all set to be officially a closed down baby making factory. Mine was apparently scheduled to fold at this time, I …

All I dreamed it would be and MORE

Yep, the holiday turned out exactly like I thought it would. Insanity from the word go.

I woke up to go check on the 'Rent and ensure she was all set for the day. I even said I would do the hair since she tires easily and I wanted to do something to try to make her happy for just a little bit.

What I found waiting for me was a sniveling little old woman who looked up at me and said, "Go on without me." In my mind what I saw was her laying on her back on the sofa with her hand palm up on her forehead doing her best wounded war vet impersonation telling me to "Go on without me, I can't make it." Seriously, I was trying to figure out if I went to sleep and woke up and an extra in the middle of a production of a WWII film.

What kind of jackass would I be to spend a holiday meal with 18 other people knowing the 'Rent was sitting home alone? I told her we would all stay and I would make her dinner at home. For some reason, I am guessing since I disrupted th…

Family just makes me want to give Thanks. Yeah. Like that.

We all have them.Family. And for the most part I really do love my family. But the whole expectations of joy and good cheer and shiny happy faces bullshit everyone puts on each other. Oy! Too Freaking Much Pressure.

The 'Rent got a cold.
We both got a cold.
We both had to go on Antibiotics to get well.
The 'Rent had to go on a second round (compromised immune system and all).
No, we do not.

Then we complain and whine and whimper and expect everyone else to do everything else for us and do it with a smile.

Take me for instance. We are going to the larger family gathering. I ordered cheesecakes that are TO DIE FOR, and got LOTS of wine to make it through the day because I get to spend my Thanksgiving being the 'Rent Wrangler.
Last night I get informed that SHE is going to make a pecan pie.
And then stares at me, and says she has to make the crust.
So I stare back, and she keeps s…

Freaky Deaky Interaction Returns.

Well normal never lasts for long with me. Or maybe this constant state of bizarre is my normal... That is probably more the case, if I had to guess.

So Ramirez comes by my cube at work. Doing some random wandering of the building, since to my knowledge he has no need to wander the floor of our area any more. Each and every CREEPY time he skulks silently up to the entrance to the holding cell called my cube, I get the same statement/question, "Could you turn your monitor further around if you tried?". I sit with my back to the cube entrance, my desk is U shaped around the three walls of the cube. If you were standing at the gap known as the entrance, my laptop would sit in the right corner of the desk. Because I use many applications at a time in my job, I have a second monitor. So as to make it comfortable for me to use this second monitor it is almost at a 90 degree angle to my laptop so I need to rotate my neck the least amount possible to view items between the two screen…

Adventures in medicine

Please bear with this one, it really is a point of humor to me, while it may not seem so at first.

Like every adult woman I submit to the invasive and embarrassing visit to the "Hoo Hoo" doctor, as the spouse puts it, once a year. Yes we know the correct term, this just seems so much more juvenile and fits in with his 15 year old maturity level.

Three years ago I went in to have some pain checked to find out I had something known as a fibroid tumor. These are very common and the usual prognosis for one this size is to have the whole kit and caboodle removed because the buggers come back. I opted to have the tumor removed for two very selfish reasons. I wasn't ready to give up on the chance of pregnancy yet and I didn't want to jump into the hot-flash pan immediately post surgery. My doctor was kind enough to come up with a medical plan to accommodate me, only to get into my surgery to learn that I had one of the most severe cases of endometriosis he has ever seen. De…

Sometimes, well sometimes Life just SUCKS

Today I have no funny stories of the odd ducks I work with, or my crazy 'Rent and her antics.
Today I have a heavy heart and another piece of my childhood and love ripped to shreds.

You see dear reader, I see life as a journey.

As we get older we grow out of the bed wetting, plastic pantie/bedsheets stage into the sleep through the night stage.
We go to school.
We make friends.
We get to know our friends parents and their family.
If we are lucky enough and our friendships long standing enough our friend's siblings become our friends too, or family of the heart along with our friends. These folks become part of our shared history. As such we assume they will be a part of our story line for a long time to come. (AGES even)
We age.
We move through life and talk once in a while.
If they are real friends, time and distance have no real impact on their place in our lives and hearts. They are always there, we just don't get to see them like we used to.
These people become p…

Sometimes words just fail. . .

Here in my office they have started an initiative to recycle. Let me splain. I live in the deep South. Recycling is not only not practiced, it isn't even really encouraged. Having grown up in the NE, both the spousal unit and I have the life long habit of doing so, to the point that we have two garbage cans in the kitchen. One for recycling and one for garbage. And yes they are even labeled.

Since we started the actual request to get everyone in the office actively involved I have been keeping a plastic shopping bag at my desk to gather cans until I get more than ONE AT A TIME together to take down to the community location for gathering in the Ground Level.

This morning I went to get some ice for my brought from home beverage of choice and decided it was time for the current bag to be taken to be added to the collective. Not some huge feat of daring or abnormality. At least I didn't think so. Apparently I was mistaken.

I no longer work for the Serial Killer in hiding boss …

Elevator Lobby Randomness

Haven't really had any office nonsense to blog about lately. Of course because you are reading this I had a moment of bizarre while returning from Lunch today.

I am standing in the lobby waiting with my friend for the elevator to arrive and convey us upwards. Someone exits from the floor doors into said elevator lobby. As we had the button pushed to go up I thought I would ask if he wanted the elevator button for down pushed. The answer I got was bizarre at best, freaking creepy at worst. Let us just say, Ramirez (aka serial killer boy) now has a partner in crime whether they know each other or not.

Me: "I assume you need to go downstairs?" I ask while pushing the down button.
Creepy: "Well I was going to Yo-Yo. . . . Up. . . . . Down . . . . . Sideways . . . . . Diagonal . . . . . It don't matter." said in a voice that suggests, as my friend said, People Under The Stairs status.
Me: "OK then. Have a good day." as the elevator arrives and we get…

And the visit did not disappoint

So the actual day of traveling to and from the doctor's office was painful in a traffic sucks kind of way. I am a road rage embracing fool as a rule and the drive to and fro made me want to maim something.

As for the doctor's visit.. . . .

It was a Pulminary Specialist to go along with her fabu breathing issues. She had to do one of those Breathe IN and the PUSH the air out of your lungs for all you are worth for a count of maybe 5. The poor thing looked like she was going to pass out. I of course had to photograph it to share with my sibling (for posterity, yeah that's it). Amazingly the 'Rent's breathing has not gotten as bad as we had feared, her response to her decline in lung capacity was of course, something out of the Twilight Zone. "I think it would have been better if I took my teeth out." Um, I am not sure how that all figures into her little brain but somehow it does. I did ask for clarification that she did INDEED mean that she felt her fals…

Be vewwy quiet. . . YAY!

Sorry for the delay between postings, but if you can imagine, my 'Rent has been well behaved for the majority of the month and no one has said anything incredibly stupid. Bizarre meter is only hitting one or two on the WTF scale, so really, not much to report.

We do have a doctor's visit this afternoon. (The 'Rent that is)..... So who knows, we might have some HILARITY to update later.

Hip Hip Hooray for the 'Rent

While I poke fun and spend many days trying to catch a ride on her logic train, I would be lost without the invaluable and always amusing interaction she provides. She may make me crazy and she may in fact BE crazy, she is 75 today. She wanted NOTHING for her birthday. Too bad. She got some new cool shoes from my fabulous sibling, and from me she shall be getting several dozen flowers. So on this day, I shall not poke fun, although I am sure she will give me something to poke fun at, but for today she gets a pass.

Gotta Love the 'Rent

We were invited to an Engagement Party/Wedding Shower of a family friend. I tell you this to set the scene, this is no judgement and in fact very sweet that we were included. When I say we, I mean the spousal unit, the 'Rent and myself. Since the Shower was not taking place until 7 PM the 'Rent informs me that she would like to get her nails did before the Shower, and while 7PM is later than most Bridal Showers, we can obviously go get that done and then go to the Shower. Because I always get my nails done before going to a nice party, as in IMMEDIATELY BEFORE going to a nice party. But this is the 'Rent after all, and nothing ever really makes any sense to me because as I have stated her logic train has no doors.

My spouse, not being one for large occasions of this nature is driving us to the salon and then the Shower. He has apparently launched the "Let's scare the living shit out the the 'Rent-in-law campaign by driving like a mad man in my little stick shi…

Perspective Shift

I have been bouncing back and forth between normal and psycho lately. And not really for any real reason other than I probably spend to much time in my head. While this is nothing new, apparently some days my INTERNAL filter is jammed up with crud and I can't get to one mental frequency of normal, or at least normal for me.

In the mean time as I bounce within my mental rubber room, I am presented with updates on a certain social media site which reminds me that I am being a total freak for no reason. At this time, knock Formica, no one in my immediate family is ill. I have a steady if somewhat tedious job, and I have wonderful friends that love and support me and keep me laughing at myself when I need to do so.

The updates I get remind me that many of those people I have as friends while neither immediately accessible by car, and or time and distance have caused a lapse in communication, are facing LIFE CHANGING / THREATENING situations. What I tend to do in these situations is …

A Moment of 'Rent

I will preface this by saying that I was indeed in a lousy mood yesterday afternoon. The 'Rent and I had hair appointments last night. In case I haven't made this clear, I am not allowed alone time. If there is a function that requires an appointment, I am REQUIRED to ensure that she and I can go to the appointments at the same time. Translation for those of you playing along at home: "It will save a trip (Screw your sanity)". I also need to point out that the hair appointment was at 6:30 PM and her ass was dressed and ready to go at 11:00 AM and "Where are we going for dinner afterwards?"

So once my daily function of work was completed I go to gather the 'Rent up for the journey. She has to gather her gear, this being her Oxygen concentrator (that through charging too much no longer holds a charge for more than 3 hours (it is supposed to last 8) her purse, the luggage cart for the concentrator and the car charger for the concentrator. She hops on her m…

Is there a secret Adult Club?

As life continues it's inevitable march forward and we all tick off some age related landmark or another, as a general rule we gather information that moves along with us. And while it is useful and wonderful to accumulate, I wonder why there wasn't a handbook of how to navigate the "Oh Shit" moments BEFORE we got there.

I know, I know. Someone will tell me that there are parents that have that knowledge to pass along. But in reality if you stop and think about it, most likely they were still trying to gather enough knowledge to just get along without killing their children through sheer frustration and surviving each day as it comes. It is like a never ending cycle of Craptastic Revelations with no end in site because NO ONE CAN PAUSE long enough in their paddle up Schit's Creek to help out a fellow paddler. AND by the time they have the knowledge that is worth passing along, the children have entered the age where anyone older is too stupid and vapid to take a…

My new hero

I have come to the realization that over all, I am a fairly brazen individual. I fall in the bottom of the birth order and from my own personal observations, we tend to be a demanding, attention seeking bunch. As my new hero pointed out yesterday I say the things other people are thinking. Mostly it is too myself or as an aside because while I may be snarky I don't like to hurt people intentionally. I seem to do just fine processing that particular function without intent. No need to add to the mayhem frankly.

So last night my new Hero and I signed up for pedicures. There was a promotion by a salon not too far from the office that advertised Pedicures with Gellish/shelac (uber durable polish and or plastic for nails) for $15. This is not a HUGE deal, but it was a new idea and an excuse for a girls night out. So we sign up online, call to make our appointments and off we go.

We arrive at a nice upscale salon. Lovely decor, with hair on one side, nails on the other. We get into th…

Tuesday of Fail

My sleep is all jacked up. Apparently I have a bladder that acts as my alarm clock whether it is in reality, time for me to wake up, or not. That wake up time appears to be creeping closer and closer to 3 AM each day. This also marks the, you have had just enough sleep to not be able to lay back down and go back to sleep, line of demarcation.

So I have been awake since roughly 3:30AM. In defiance of my body's defiance, I stayed laying down in bed reading until my duly appointed wake up time as indicated by the ALARM CLOCK I EMPLOY FOR THE PURPOSE OF WAKING MY ASS UP.

I was already tired yesterday so today is going to be a BIG TIRED & CRANKY BALL O' SUCK. This translates to tiny stupid mishaps are going to mount and mount in my reality to ensure I am totally off balance for the entirety of my day.

1) While finished my morning ablutions, I am interrupted by one of my critters dragging her butt across the floor. I scream, she runs, the spouse asks what the problem is, I tel…

Vanity thy name is DUMB ASS

I have been making an effort lately to be more girly. Mostly for me and my less than feminine side, but also for my long suffering spouse. My favorite attire for as long as I can remember has been jeans and t-shirts or over sized men's dress shirts. Needless to say my spouse would like me to ONCE IN A WHILE make an effort to look like a girl.

So I have been getting my hairs did, my nails did, and I now wear make-up every day. This is a HUGE concession since for the first 35 years or so, make-up was the exception, not the rule. I don't do as much on the weekends but I still do wear some. Which is only fair considering he only sees me on the weekends technically.
I have been wearing jewelry. Not just jewelry but big blingy things. It is almost like I finally decided to play dress up (which I didn't really do as a child) but now I have the means to put some sparkly costume dress up stuff on and I can go out in public, like an adult show and tell. I probably fall into the &q…

The never ending joy of Pet Ownership

I am sure that somewhere I have mentioned that we have a herd of pets. The herd is 3 LARGE dogs and 4 cats, and by large I mean, two dogs over 100 pounds. I love my herd. I really do, but when the herd decides that there shall be no sleep, then there shall be no sleep.

For anyone.

At any time.

Cats are naturally nocturnal so I can't really get too mad at them for the stupidity that abounds while they romp the night away on my head, on the bed, across any and all furniture etc. The cats tend to, when not running like hell screeching at each other hither and yon, to use me as their place of rest and or kneading spot. Most nights I can sleep through most of it.

Let us reflect on the last post, shall we. As I indicated, life recently has been mostly pain, gastrointestinal distress, lack of sleep, in general a miserable haze of sleep deprived SUCKAGE. Since I have stopped taking the offending medication, I am actually able to sleep through the night and quite well at that.

I will be…

Age and the joys of medicating age related ailments

I have reached that decade of age when all of the stupid crap we have done as a youth catch up to you. Poor food choices. Poor beverage consumption choices. Job Stress. Family Stress (er I mean joy, Family Joy).... And just plain old AGE. Not Old Age, but Age as a subject unto itself.

Everything is hanging lower. The eyes, well we have already discussed that. Now every day I have to take a pill to keep my blood pressure in check, and my cholesterol. And of course my pharmaceutical mood enhancers so I don't have a split from my reality and sob out of control for no apparent rational reason..... Or harm the 'Rent. (I jest).

So the latest adventure has been that one of my medications has not been agreeing with me. This is not new, they have side effect listings for a reason.

First it was the BP meds. Apparently what I was on gives you a dry cough, so we have to change that one. First try, so far so good. No more cough, and no imminent stroke or so I am told.....

The latest fun h…

I would love to get on your logic train, but it is lacking DOORS....

In moving south, we are living with hundreds and hundreds of little inch long red crunchy centipedes. Yes, centipedes. And we know they are crunchy because we step on them as they wander our house in the dark of night and we get to become intimately acquainted with them, via feet.

In the dark.

On cold floors.

Did I mention they crunch? And they have their own distinctive odor. The sound and feel is a sensory interaction I wish I had never experienced and will simply never forget for all of time. There is nothing else like it, and I don't mean in a good way like I never want to get past it, love to experience it over and over kind of way.

More of a night sweats and showers required post remembering, kind of way.

In all fairness to the centipedes, they were here first. And they don't perpetually cohabitate. The reality is, they come in late spring thru early summer, in droves. They live in the grass and apparently don't like it when it rains because they find their way into…

What did I just see?

So I am enroute to the grind this morning, and I am getting off of the interstate and onto another very busy highway, and as such am sitting in morning traffic.

The person in the vehicle in front of me is doing what I like to refer to as the Dude Stance in his seat. You know to what I refer. . . . The tilted to the right, leaning on our elbow, just hanging while we are driving...... Usually the left should is lifted up. I don't mean to stereo type but I suppose you could call it the Thug Position as well. Perhaps?


As we are getting into the lane to exit to the right, he starts what I would call the "get the water or itch out of my ear canal wiggle. Where you press on the little flap of ear cartilage on the face side

and wiggle your knuckle or finger (whatever you are pressing with) vigorously until you get rid of the itch, the water stops being annoying, etc. Regardless the issue gets resolved.

This person, however appeared to remove his entire finger from his ea…

In need of an English to 'Rent dictionary

Apparently "work from home" is not a concept that the 'rent can grasp. I am pretty sure me sitting in front of a computer for 8 hours a day does not have the appearance of working, (and in all honesty it is usually more like 10 due to certain moments of inattention to actual work) but I assure you that it is indeed a job.
For which I get paid.
For which I am required to put forth some effort, regardless of location.

In the 'Rent's mind, "work from home" translates to must get all of my errands done and suck all of the time out of you I can when we are supposed to be going to the doctor's office and back. Yeah. Can you say my STRESS is off the meter this morning?

We have to go get blood work done, etc (follow up visit crap), with travel should take about an hour and a half considering you still have to sit and wait. I need to remember just to take these days off because her assumption is that I DO.


Random Dinner conversation with the 'Rent

Conversation over dinner with the family. (Numbers are only to birth order. All of my nieces are #1 in my heart)

Niece #3: "I want to go sky diving."
Niece #2: "Why?"
Niece #1: "I just saw on the news where someone went sky diving for the first time, with the person strapped to their back, the parachute did not deploy and they both died."
Niece #3" Never mind. I don't want to go sky diving."
'Rent: "<Niece #3's name> you could go on Fear Factor."
Sibling: "Mom! You watch Fear Factor?"
'Rent: "Sometimes."

At this point somehow the conversation devolved......

Me: "Yeah Mom, we could put you in the Geriatric Fear Factor. First Stunt, take off your Oxygen mask for 5 minutes."

No one could breathe, and the 'Rent did not speak to me for the remainder of the night. . . .

Me: "Are you really mad at me? You know I was joking, right?"
'Rent: "I will remember all of this.…

Some new and entertaining friends

While in Ohio we got to meet several new and wonderful people, but as is with the case in my life they all are characters. One of the young men is in a wheelchair, which he has not let slow him down in the least. I would say the chair he uses is a racer's chair, but it would have to be an off road racer if you wanted to qualify it.

He might have one of the most pleasant dispositions I have ever encountered, and while being away from the 'rent makes it hard to distinguish, he actually stands out in this regard. So that is saying something. His arms are as big a tree trunks from hard work, the gym and generally getting from point A to point B on his chair. The reference of this young man will become apparent further into the story.

The last night while we were in Ohio, post racing, we went to hang out with our friends and visit while we could since we were leaving the next day. Apparently post racing up there they maintain a tradition. They have a aluminum bowl they set on a c…

Even a quiet reprieve has a price. . . . .

The spouse and I went away for a short THREE day trip from the deep South to Northern Ohio. We made the appropriate provisions for our Herd of Dogs. The smallest of the herd weighs in at 70+ pounds, so we were not leaving the 'rent in charge of the feeding and releasing of the hounds. That would cause us to end up with a broken or dead 'rent. Frankly that tends to ruin the reprieve premise.

The only task the 'rent had was to feed the cats. Bowls and food provided. They are indoor/outdoor cats and very low risk of broken anything. Open the door when they want to come in or go out. SEE PREVIOUS STATEMENT, the 'rent was IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HERD.

We left on our journey at 3:30 AM CDT. We had fed the herd and let them go do their doggie bidness and put them back up in holding until our friends could come by and take care of them. At some time around Noon I get a call from the 'rent, she of shortness of breath and frail being, to say she was going to go let th…

Calling on my inner Zen?????

Date: June 12, 2012.
Time: 8:00pm-ISH
Conversation between the 'rent and myself.
Self: "I am going to take family photos tomorrow night after work of <insert friend's name here>"
'rent: "Tomorrow night?"
Self: "Yes, right after work, I am hoping to get out by 4. So I won't be here for dinner. I wanted to give you warning."
'rent: "OK, so you won't be here for dinner."
Self: "Right."

Flash forward ~
Date: June 13, 2012.
Time: 1:30pm-ISH
Come back from lunch to message light flashing on the phone. This is never good and can only be one person. . . . .

Conversation between the 'rent and myself.

Self: "You rang?"
'rent: "You are going to take pictures of <insert friend's name here> tonight?"
Self: "Yes. As I stated last night, right after work, I am hoping to get out by 4. I don't think I will be too late but won't be there for dinner."
'rent: "…

Defining a Soul

If you had to stop and define yourself, could you? In a way that people could understand? I mean TRULY understand? Put themselves in your shoes and feel your joys, emotional pains, hurts, hopes, dreams, losses, scars that never fully heal? Every ugly word said to you in ignorance, because lets face it, as kids we are all ignorant and say stupid shit. What we forget is that as much as what we hear hurts? Yeah, that crap spewing out of your mouth, that is doing the same ugly shit to someone else's psyche.

I know I can't define myself in a way that anyone else can understand because they don't live in my head. I know I am the sum of every good and bad thing in my life. I know some days I suck as a human being, but with luck and grace I get to wake up and try again tomorrow. I am more than the bag of skin, fat, bones and minerals I walk around in. I chose to be kind. I chose to try to use my brain each day to learn something new. I like to make my friends laugh, because laugh…

Mental Surrogacy

In the current economical climate many of us find ourselves working within "Multi-Cultural" groups. I am not, nor can I afford to disparage this since I need to keep eating and paying my bills.

What I find fascinating and distressing, at least in my job, is that often my offshore counter parts are not remotely acquainted with the baseline of our business. Meaning they don't understand WHY we do what we do, or HOW our client's do things, so a total lack of understand leads to total apathy. At least that is the appearance that is presented. I am not assuming the ethnocentric idea that my country is the end all be all of earth. What I have issues with is if you are going to work for a company whose primary customer is a specific economy, perhaps you should have a basic grasp of how crap works in that country. I would expect that if I were to go to abroad for a job, I would have to have a basic understanding of their culture and at LEAST a passing understanding of what …

Integrity is not a metaphysical concept

in·teg·ri·ty/ɪnˈtɛgrɪti/ [in-teg-ri-tee]
1.adherencetomoralandethicalprinciples;soundnessofmoralcharacter;honesty. 2.thestateofbeingwhole,entire,orundiminished.

It is one of those things that I believe all beings strive to have, and a large portion of fail at. I say this having endured what I find to be a day lacking in the exercise of this trait.

The reality of life is no matter how hard we try, we tend to fail often. If not a full on fail, then a partial fail. We can't keep every promise made, and if we do, then we are dropping the ball on some other part of our lives. Some of these missed catches are of no consequence while others can spell headaches, or on a grander scale, getting to walk behind the elephant in the room with the chihuahua sized pooper scooper.

I am not going to even try to pretend that I am a passable juggler. I am lucky I get dressed and make it to work each day with the correct shoes on each foot. The 'rent and the spouse seem to live under some delus…

Random Calls from the 'Rent

While we were away on vacation, the 'rent took ill. It was probably nothing more than a summer cold, but let us review the facts......
The 'rent is older.
The 'rent is not in the best of health as a general rule.
The 'rent is on an oxygen concentrator.
The 'rent has had pneumonia in the last year.

Total of the facts equals the 'rent should NOT IGNORE A COMMON COLD and just hope it goes away like a normal, relatively healthy adult.
When she got sick, the sibling and I both voiced the concern that we should call her doctor and have a prescription called in, since we were only at the beach and not on the moon. Pharmacies even exist where we were. CLOSE BY EVEN. We were vetoed.
When we got home, on Saturday, BOTH the sibling and I told her she had to call the doctor's office on Monday morning. Oh no. This will pass.
By Wednesday she is coughing up a lung and FINALLY CALLS the doctor. They put her on heavy duty antibiotics. Alas, at this point the bug has been …

Epic Asshat Interaction

There haven't been too many times in my life where I thought, HOLY SHIT is this for real? Where is the camera, because I must be on Candid Camera (or Punk'd for those of the under 30 set). Yesterday was one of those days. For the record, my dear, dear, dear friend has this on any family event. For the love of all that is holy please bless her with your prayers because I promise you, there is nothing to compare to what, or I should say, WHO I met yesterday.

My friend's child was graduating High School yesterday. He is her one and only, she is dealing with in-laws, out-laws, and step-laws.... you name it, so to say it was going to be a mixed bag is an understatement. As with any family there is, of course, dysfunction. Apparently there is a certain member of this small sub-sect of hers who has been studied and defined in order for the definition to be honed to perfection.

For the last several weeks my friend has been torturing herself. She wants to please everyone with no t…