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Need a new name for the office Douche...........

I get rid of the freaky serial killer and get stuck with a Jack Wagon of EPIC MAGNITUDE.
How are we a Wagon? Let me count the ways.


A) We like to inform everyone else about what a poor job EVERYONE before us has done, even if the everyone else WAS the persons performing said job.
B) No matter the process, WE HAVE A BETTER WAY TO DO IT EVEN IF IT TAKES 5Xs longer.
C) If you ask me for a time estimate, I shall ensure you fall asleep with my long ass explanation before ever actually getting to a point.
D) We are married to someone who is at least 15 years our junior and 5 hotness points above my 2, and everyone at the cube-farm just scratches their head.
E) We are not big on personal hygiene.
F) Our office is kind enough to let us wear FLIP FLOPS (yes you read that right) since we live on the Earthly Plane of hell and I like to take my shoes off at my desk for no reason.

I am sure there is more I am forgetting, but Those would be the top half dozen reasons right there.

Free E-Books are Great if you PREVIEW WHAT YOU GET

I share a e-library with the 'Rent and I have never thought much about what I get to read, because we tend to read the same stuff. I read more Science Fiction than she does but I usually have to load and or clear her reader so I don't give her Sci Fi as a rule.

Based on my last sentence and all previous interaction, I was unaware that the 'Rent even knew how to load the e-reader. Apparently I would be wrong.

I follow several pages on social media sites that offer a listing each day of free e-books. Some days I read the summary before I select my brand of e-reader for the free download, and some days I just take it all.

BUYER BEWARE THIS IS A BAD PRACTISE UNLESS YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO USES YOUR LIBRARY.

Apparently on one of the "TAKE IT ALL" days I happened to get something I will refer to as "racy". I don't tend to read these because it makes me sad that my life is not that romantic or sexy or anything. Some of it is just plain badly written DRECK…

The Nuggets of the Apocalypse... Nothing is ever really FREE

I have seen how the world ends, and it is in the form of 4 innocent, free, Chicken Nuggets.

Obviously not in the literal sense, but had you been in my vehicle with me this past weekend with the 'Rent who was the lucky recipient of said Nuggets? Let us just say, the existential angst that these FREE nuggets caused, I really have no words for the trauma.

We got our hairs did on Sunday and on the way home we stopped at (insert name of fast food chain) who shall remain nameless to protect the innocent.

The order was placed.
The beverages were passed into the car (this was not without great confusion and trauma on the part of the server).
The 'Rent struggled with the straw wrappers so I had to help with that task. Not sure what was up with that.
My sibling had called during our hair doings, so I made the attempt to call her back. Note, this whole time she is on the speaker in the car, but the following happens because really, why would you let me conduct a full call?

As the 'Re…

The return of the 'Rent In Law

I am sure many of you have seen the meme going around "Not my circus, Not my monkeys." My catch phrase this week has been, "It IS my circus, and My Monkeys CAN FLY".

I have spent a lifetime of coming to terms with people in my world that I truly love, but I just can't make myself like them. Don't get me wrong, I am well aware that I am also on the receiving end of those sentiments and I can live with that. We are instructed to love our fellow human beings, I am pretty sure it is the premise of all religions. I don't think there is anything about the liking of them.

My week began with the 'Rent-in-law arriving on Monday. The total time he was alone between when my spouse goes to bed for work and I get done with my work day and drive the house to my house was about 2 hours. I walked into my home into the FUMES of booze and to find my 'Rent-in-law so stinking drunk I could hardly understand him. Let me add to this little vignette, the guest in ques…

Mea Culpa - Rectal Cranial Inversion for the last FOREVER

I have spent the last year walking my mother to her grave, and it finally dawned on me quite recently
(sometimes I can be a little slow), that she is still here.
In spite of all of the reasons health wise she should not be, and by some unexplained miracle of her sheer will to survive, she is.
I had to stop walking her to the grave and just walk with her. I can't even explain the mental toll I have allowed this whole process to take on me.
We as a family have lost so many people in our lives, it took me almost a year to realize I was mourning someone who is still here, and not only that but losing the time I DO HAVE.
Pulling one's head out of your own ass is harder than you think... Ask me and I can share that struggle. It still goes on daily but I am making a conscious effort to do it!
Once I saw the sunshine again and not the inside of my own little bubble of misery I found my humor again.
I don't think I am extraordinary in the least, but I always had a sparkle in my eye…

How not to maim a 'Rent-In-Law..

This all should really have come before the Congress post, but, well, Congress was in session, so forming coherent thought was not really an option until I got all of the various parties settled for the time being.

I need to start this whole 'Rent-In-Law story by setting the scene, so you can fully comprehend where my brain and emotions were prior to the Unexpected, Unannounced visit.

Let me preface this preface with the 'Rent-In-Law, having been here at Thanksgiving stated in no uncertain terms, that we were EXPLICITLY not to send an invitation to him for our niece's wedding because it would not be used, no way no how.
The Spousal Unit and I have an early May anniversary. As I may have mentioned previously we work on opposite shifts so we see each other, quite literally, less than 24 waking hours in a whole week. The anniversary fell on a weeknight, and so I was not really going to see him with the exception of the hour that he gets up and gets ready for work. I got home …

Congress is in Session

I have a friend who told me once that all of the crazy that goes on with our internal voices is called Congress being in session. Mine is in full swing. There has been so much going on in the world at large, but being the misogynistic ass I am, most of what I have been thinking about has been MY STUFF.

Random thoughts really. Many Many Many Random Thoughts.

I know I am flawed. Hell, I am not flawed, I am downright broken. We all are. We are all these hollow cracked shells that hide the internal soup of life that we are. I don't know how anyone can make it to adulthood without cracks, and if they have, then more power to them. Personally, I want to add some antiquing medium to mine to give them more character. And I am not ashamed of being broken. I am exactly the way I am supposed to be. I am beautiful in my brokenness, just like we all are.

Still dealing with the steady decline of the 'Rent's health. The emotional toll it is taking on me is much greater than I let on. It …