Long time no post

Howdy all (or few...) it has been a while.

Work has been so crazy for the last several months that it hasn't left a whole lot of room for Life.

Another reason for the long delay is that, while it is always fun to relate the latest insanity perpetrated by the 'Rent, the reality is my Mother is dying. I know I have said this in the past. But lately the decline has become more evident daily and it is harder and harder to pretend that this is a "some time down the road" thing. In light of that fact, making fun of her in print seems petty and mean spirited. I am many things but mean spirited is not one of my finer qualities.

This is not to say I won't document some epic stupidity of hers should the need arise, but most likely we are going to be quiet for a while.

I feel like I need to figure out how to deal with this new reality that I am facing. I never in a million years thought I would be my mother's end of life care taker, nor did I think I would be dealing with a decline of this nature. I am a pretty strong person over all, but in the face of this I feel helpless and ineffective. I find myself getting mad at her, not for being sick, but for the moments when she freaks out and makes it that much harder on herself. Then I get mad at me for getting mad at her. I can't imagine the living hell she is going through just moving around her small house daily. She can still take care of her basic physical needs but beyond that, well this is a whole new world we are in and it arrived quite abruptly. I wish I could do just about anything in the world to ease her pain, but I can't, and so I stand here mutely, ineptly, ineffectually, waiting.

So if you don't hear from me for a while longer, my apologies. I wish you all some Magical Face moments of your own. And I will be back should someone provide me with some bizarre new interaction. Until then... thanks for playing along with me.


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