Showing posts from February, 2012

Keeping Mom from making a scene. . . .

So the adventure of this weekend was I got to make an escape for a few days with some friends. But as we all know, there is ALWAYS A PRICE TO PAY for that freedom. Taking an additional day off to spend with my spouse and catch up on laundry, sleep etc. I must have been doing some serious 'shroomage or something, because THAT didn't happen.

Nope, My day was "CLAIMED" by Mom. ALL of the things my sister offered to help with, NOPE, we had to wait for ME. Because as far as personal step and fetch action goes, I am the tops, apparently.

I did get to sleep in until 9, and then the day got under way. We went shoe shopping, with me pushing her wheelchair, in a shoe store, with small isles, and two purses to hold because she couldn't hold hers. Maneuvering issues were a challenge and joy.

Then on to go get my nails done, while she waited in the car, watching through the window like a dog waiting for their owner to come back,(not to awkward or anything). I offered to wai…


Hubris: noun meaning excessiveprideorself-confidence;arrogance. I would hazard to believe that some might consider blogging to be the height of this. After all, who are we that think our words so worthy that everyone just HAS to read them. I am not so self delusional to think that the world will stop spinning if my drops of wisdom are not released into the collective minds and interwebs of the world. And yet I am going to go right ahead and do so. Mostly because it is very therapeutic and better than going ape shit on some poor slob who just happens to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. I do happen to know someone that is FULL of hubris. Full of a lot of stuff actually, but hubris is a stand out character trait. Shockingly enough, that would be Crazy. . . . Not only do I have my own personal stalker but she also feels the need to point out EVERYTHING that EVERYONE does wrong, because she can do it not only better, but THE RIGHT WAY. "My goodness, who are they hiring to do XYZ j…

Wait, WHAT?

So for the last couple of days, really since Friday, I have been having some WTF moments. Mostly centered around my job. The last time I checked, I actually get up each day when my alarm goes off, I can bathe and dress myself. By Golly I can EVEN WIPE MY OWN ASS! I can drive to work, feed myself, even remembering to make sure I chew with my mouth closed. All this and I even get my clothes on the right body parts.

I know that there are some people, not by their choice that these types of activies are beyond them. This is in no way meant to denigrate anyone in that situation. My point is this, if I can do ALL OF THE ABOVE without guidance or direction. WHY DO YOU TREAT ME LIKE I LACK THE ABILITY OF A ONE YEAR OLD TO FUNCTION DAILY?

No, really, by all means, assume I can't find my ass with both hands. Because I love you sending me emails on how to "brain storm" for a solution to something that I was the only person to identify as a gap. I really appreciate that my solutio…

Who are you referring to again?

Have you ever come across someone in your life that makes you stop and think, "There is nothing about this person that I could say that would make ANYONE know who I was speaking about." I refer to this as the Serial Killer Effect.

When all of the bodies are found, people will be saying, but he/she was so quiet. Kept to themselves, never caused any problems, BLAH BLAH BLAH.

The person in my life, well if they were to find bodies, I don't think it would be much of a shock. Off the charts intelligent, but the social skills on the level of a bloated tick, as in none to speak of, AND grosses you out.

A) Lack of eye contact: Look everywhere but into my eyes, and yes including and especially my chest.
B) Random ZONE OUT stoner look that passes over their face that makes them look like they have been lit up for the last decade.
C) Mumbles to the point that most of what is said is lost. I know I am getting slightly hard of hearing but speak the hell up! (not hardly but benefit of…

Harmless? Or Watch Out?

Wouldn’t you all agree that there are levels of crazy? There is the "You’re so crazy!" you say to friends when they are acting goofy or just out of character for their normal behavior. There is the “There is something not quite right there, but I don’t know what it is.” Often reserved for singular interactions that you choose not to repeat because of said uneasiness. Then there is the “HOLY MOTHER, that person is out of their mind, Bat shit Crazy.” This has two substrata in my mind. A)Harmless – crazy and scary but they can’t help it B)Watch out – stalker/serial killer/psycho in the making. I currently work with someone I put in the Holy Mother category, substrata Harmless, for now. I get the distinct impression said person is lonely, which could be caused by the Bat Shit Crazy behavior. Seriously, how many of you, knowing someone less than a month would bring, to work, your soon to be filed divorce papers and share that as part of the decree there is a restraining order against …

Moment of Mom

And we have our first Random Mom post. . . . Let me preface this with, she lives with my husband and I.
LIVES WITH. . . . She has a house of her own attached to ours, but they are literally ATTACHED with a bedroom door. so, yeah, LIVES WITH.

Let that sink in. . . . .

 She has recently had some health issues and while I don't mean to make light of her health, the statements and or observations she spews forth constantly make me have that 'deer in the headlights, I have no response to this' face.

Yesterday was a doctor visit day, which bless my sister, she took her to the doctor's office. Apparently it was a good, and horrible visit. Good because the health questions asked were answered in a positive light. Horrible because apparently the service wasn't great, and her insurance provider was not honored by the office. My issue with that being, she has spoken to them several times since she was at the hospital, someone could have clued her in prior to the visit. Thanks…
Let me preface this with, welcome all, including haters, since I know you shall appear. The title of this blog stems from the apparent magic of my face which encourages total strangers, way more often than people I am close to, to share their dubious personal information with me. That, and or random crap for which I have no reply, regardless of how much time I ponder the statement made in my presence. I am no brighter than anyone else, but I am very observant of random behavior and apparently have a face that appeals to all. Folks tell me I never meet a stranger. . . . I would have to disagree simply on the word itself. Strange? Absolutely. But  apparently my visage says to one and all I am willing to listen to you share everything about you, even if my mind is not engaged my face (?) is. 
The upside of this whole Face thing is I like to laugh at life, and therefore I have constant fodder. Most importantly I can laugh at myself and never take anything too seriously. It isn't worth …