Need a new name for the office Douche...........

I get rid of the freaky serial killer and get stuck with a Jack Wagon of EPIC MAGNITUDE.
How are we a Wagon? Let me count the ways.

A) We like to inform everyone else about what a poor job EVERYONE before us has done, even if the everyone else WAS the persons performing said job.
B) No matter the process, WE HAVE A BETTER WAY TO DO IT EVEN IF IT TAKES 5Xs longer.
C) If you ask me for a time estimate, I shall ensure you fall asleep with my long ass explanation before ever actually getting to a point.
D) We are married to someone who is at least 15 years our junior and 5 hotness points above my 2, and everyone at the cube-farm just scratches their head.
E) We are not big on personal hygiene.
F) Our office is kind enough to let us wear FLIP FLOPS (yes you read that right) since we live on the Earthly Plane of hell and I like to take my shoes off at my desk for no reason.

I am sure there is more I am forgetting, but Those would be the top half dozen reasons right there.


  1. Peter Principle + Dunning-Kruger Effect = (DoucheWagon)100

    Whatever happens, EVERYONE must be on board. If one person shows up late, everyone must do so, etc. This tool was merely promoted so as to move him (THE PROBLEM) somewhere ELSE.

    I would commence plotting revenge, George Hayduke style + gas lighting, IMMEDIATELY.


  2. Also worth noting, you should read the 48 Laws of Power, and start employing some of it now.


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