Mea Culpa - Rectal Cranial Inversion for the last FOREVER

I have spent the last year walking my mother to her grave, and it finally dawned on me quite recently
(sometimes I can be a little slow), that she is still here.
In spite of all of the reasons health wise she should not be, and by some unexplained miracle of her sheer will to survive, she is.
I had to stop walking her to the grave and just walk with her. I can't even explain the mental toll I have allowed this whole process to take on me.
We as a family have lost so many people in our lives, it took me almost a year to realize I was mourning someone who is still here, and not only that but losing the time I DO HAVE.
Pulling one's head out of your own ass is harder than you think... Ask me and I can share that struggle. It still goes on daily but I am making a conscious effort to do it!
Once I saw the sunshine again and not the inside of my own little bubble of misery I found my humor again.
I don't think I am extraordinary in the least, but I always had a sparkle in my eye because in the WORST of situations, I could find something to laugh about.

I lost that part of me. Apparently it was OUTSIDE my ass because once I got clear,

THERE IT WAS, and thus the humor reasserted itself into my reality and perspective.

Hi Me, I missed you. I missed being able to see the absurd and laugh about it and let it go, because really wallowing in it just is the pits.

This view is much better and Oh there are some nuggets to share. Today will probably be a multi segment update. Read as you wish. Pass if you wish.

I hope all is well out in your world, and if it isn't, know you are never alone in that, and burdens are ALWAYS lighter when shared.

Comments

  1. Surely there's an AMUSING story to tell to prove to you that your humor has reasserted itself:)

    In January 2014, when she was at death's doorstep, I grieved for my mother. Every 7-10 days I'm reminded she's still here, and I'm empty and neutral.

    Glad you have found yourself again--can't wait to read the amusing story that no doubt accompanies this! <3

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