Age and the joys of medicating age related ailments

I have reached that decade of age when all of the stupid crap we have done as a youth catch up to you. Poor food choices. Poor beverage consumption choices. Job Stress. Family Stress (er I mean joy, Family Joy).... And just plain old AGE. Not Old Age, but Age as a subject unto itself.

Everything is hanging lower. The eyes, well we have already discussed that. Now every day I have to take a pill to keep my blood pressure in check, and my cholesterol. And of course my pharmaceutical mood enhancers so I don't have a split from my reality and sob out of control for no apparent rational reason..... Or harm the 'Rent. (I jest).

So the latest adventure has been that one of my medications has not been agreeing with me. This is not new, they have side effect listings for a reason.

First it was the BP meds. Apparently what I was on gives you a dry cough, so we have to change that one. First try, so far so good. No more cough, and no imminent stroke or so I am told.....

The latest fun has been with Cholesterol medicine. They tell you side effects, right on TV even, if you tune in. But have I ever paid attention? Why no, no I haven't. Because silly me, in my head SOMEWHERE, I am still 17 and those silly pills I take every day when I get home from work? Yeah, I just take them.

Well HEY DUMB ASS. They give you the potential Side Effect information and make you sign crap to acknowledge you are taking and reading it for a reason. Apparently my brain just skipped that part of the tale? I guess the having to go back in 30 days to ensure it is not causing irreparable damage to my liver by giving them blood, somehow showed no significance to me? I dunno.......

The first cholesterol med I was on, well I started to have pain in my shoulder, which then traveled down my arm. Having spent the better part of 6 months last year between pain, surgery, rehab and more pain on my other shoulder...... We are not amused. I go to my doctor, and mention that I can now barely move my right arm. Guess what? Joint inflammation/Pain. Side effect. Stop taking it and POOF. All gone, bye bye!

So after 30 days my doctor puts me on a second cholesterol medication. I begin taking it, I notice no ill side effects/ My arm isn't hurting so I am thinking this is BRILLIANT. About once a week I start to notice that as soon as I eat I feel like my stomach is churning anything put into it a painful and worrisome need for the loo. In my mind, no connection, maybe the 'Rent is trying to give me food poisoning, I don't know...... Then it starts to happen more than once a week. Again, I am not putting two and two together. A week ago I eat dinner with 10 other folks, they have no ill effects and I am up all night long in AGONY. Running to and fro to the loo about 15 times in one day. My spouses response is "did you break something?". Yes honey, I broke my colon.  Seriously?????????? So I work from home. Eat my meals and every time I am racing the clock to the loo.

On the one day I do try to venture out of the house, I break out into a cold sweat in the middle of Home Despot, and try to take a header into the floor. I scared the crap out of the spouse and myself. So now I am at the mental conclusion that I must be dying. Of course I am becausenear fainting and the runs always equal imminent doom.

At this point, I am starting to panic, and I am skipping eating because nothing is making it worse or better. This dear reader is where I show my senior/blond/ignant side. I FINALLY LOOK AT THE PRINTED SIDE EFFECT SHEETS FOR MY MEDICATION.

Well what do you know? Gastrointestinal distress IS THE FIRST THING LISTED, and Dizziness, yep that is on there too. Really? I just put myself through 6 weeks of torture because I was too stupid to read the handout? Seriously? So I stopped consuming my daily dose of this dreck on Sunday night and guess what? I AM PAIN FREE. No running to the loo. No wondering if I am broken or dying........  I am finally back at my desk and feeling almost human.

The moral of the story here kids is that they give you those sheets for a reason. Don't be a sheeple and just consume the product. Otherwise you could be tied to the toilet, trapped in your house with your 'Rent. I can promise you, you do not want this to happen to you........


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