Moment of Mom

And we have our first Random Mom post. . . . Let me preface this with, she lives with my husband and I.
LIVES WITH. . . . She has a house of her own attached to ours, but they are literally ATTACHED with a bedroom door. so, yeah, LIVES WITH.

Let that sink in. . . . .

 She has recently had some health issues and while I don't mean to make light of her health, the statements and or observations she spews forth constantly make me have that 'deer in the headlights, I have no response to this' face.

Yesterday was a doctor visit day, which bless my sister, she took her to the doctor's office. Apparently it was a good, and horrible visit. Good because the health questions asked were answered in a positive light. Horrible because apparently the service wasn't great, and her insurance provider was not honored by the office. My issue with that being, she has spoken to them several times since she was at the hospital, someone could have clued her in prior to the visit. Thanks for that, because those of us that live with THAT fall out? . . . . Thanks a lot you A**hat at the office for not being a font of useful information so I get to listen to the angry rant. Last night was a joyous and lighthearted occasion, just let me say that.

So the random moment came this morning when I called her to check in and just let my little ray of sunshine know I was thinking of her. Since my spouse and I work opposite schedules and he gets the dubious honor of being there for her step and fetch needs of the day, she asked, "Is your husband going out today?"

A) This call was at 7:45AM and he just got in the door from a 12 hour shift at about 6:15AM and was fast asleep.
B) I was getting ready for work and taking a 7 AM conference call and didn't have a great deal of time for chit chat with him.
AND C) I don't really ask what his "plans for the day" are because silly me, I assume he is going to be sleeping. WHO KNEW?

This is what I like to refer to as her passive aggressive tactic for getting her own way (IE guilt Hail Mary Play). Rather than state, I need your husband to pick something up from the store for me today, we play the, "Is your husband going out at all today."

So knowing where this is going:
Me: "I don't know, what do you need?"
Mom: "The doctor told me I have to take Fish 3 pills everyday." (insert no response face).
Me: "Do you mean Omega 3 Fish Oil capsules?"
Mom: "No, it isn't oil, it is Fish 3 pills."
Me: "Mom? I am pretty sure they are Omega 3 Fish Oil capsules."
Mom: "Well whatever they are, I have to take them every day."
Me: "OK, well I will send him a text so when he gets up he can go out, but I am letting you know, they are pretty expensive."
Mom: "Whatever. I don't have a choice, he told me I HAVE to take them."
Me: "Alright then."
Mom: "What are they for?" (insert no response face two)
Me: "They help with Cholesterol."
Mom: "Oh. OK."
Me: "Alright, I gotta go."

I got off the call and continued onto work, but the whole day, Fish 3 pills has been stuck in my head. As usual. I have no response to this.


  1. I have no words! I can't wait for the next installment!

  2. Did I ever share this with you: One day I was going for a job interview, and my mother quipped, "Be sure not to tell them how much you love blowjobs." Then, of course, cackled like a lunatic who escaped the asylum.

    I never did manage to go to the job interview as a result.

  3. Oh yeah. It's shit like that, which truly amazes me that I've managed to accomplish ANYTHING in my life, and amazes me even more that I'm not into self-torture or a drug addict just to blunt and blot it all out of my mind.


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