Wait, WHAT?

So for the last couple of days, really since Friday, I have been having some WTF moments. Mostly centered around my job. The last time I checked, I actually get up each day when my alarm goes off, I can bathe and dress myself. By Golly I can EVEN WIPE MY OWN ASS! I can drive to work, feed myself, even remembering to make sure I chew with my mouth closed. All this and I even get my clothes on the right body parts.

I know that there are some people, not by their choice that these types of activies are beyond them. This is in no way meant to denigrate anyone in that situation. My point is this, if I can do ALL OF THE ABOVE without guidance or direction. WHY DO YOU TREAT ME LIKE I LACK THE ABILITY OF A ONE YEAR OLD TO FUNCTION DAILY?

No, really, by all means, assume I can't find my ass with both hands. Because I love you sending me emails on how to "brain storm" for a solution to something that I was the only person to identify as a gap. I really appreciate that my solution, while simple and efficient is NOT SUFFICIENT. Because obviously I have breasts and therefor there is not a worthwhile thought that my TINY LITTLE BRAIN CAN PRODUCE.

Here let me tell you how to solve your issue, Are you listening? Pay attention, here are some detailed instructions for your daily use:

1) Reach over with your right hand.
2) Grab the back of your shirt collar.


Repeat as needed.


  1. Gotta love it when folks got a case of "Derriere Chappeau," where their head is so firmly wedged up their ass, like wearing a hat that's two sizes too big, and their ass cheeks form "gluteal ear flaps."


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