Who are you referring to again?

Have you ever come across someone in your life that makes you stop and think, "There is nothing about this person that I could say that would make ANYONE know who I was speaking about." I refer to this as the Serial Killer Effect.

When all of the bodies are found, people will be saying, but he/she was so quiet. Kept to themselves, never caused any problems, BLAH BLAH BLAH.

The person in my life, well if they were to find bodies, I don't think it would be much of a shock. Off the charts intelligent, but the social skills on the level of a bloated tick, as in none to speak of, AND grosses you out.

A) Lack of eye contact: Look everywhere but into my eyes, and yes including and especially my chest.
B) Random ZONE OUT stoner look that passes over their face that makes them look like they have been lit up for the last decade.
C) Mumbles to the point that most of what is said is lost. I know I am getting slightly hard of hearing but speak the hell up! (not hardly but benefit of the doubt and all that). Who knows, maybe in their mind the voices are all whispering and the mumbling is shouting to them.
D) The "anecdotes" that are shared make you think WTF???? Did you actually just say that?
E) Random information you do hear via the "grapevine" makes you wish you could carve a part of your brain out and forever erase that data.

Lucky me. . . This person is my boss. The person I must go to when I have questions or guidance needs. You can imagine how well this is going.

I am not a Hand Holding, you must show me everything you want done until I get it right, kind of person. What I do require is a general DIRECTION you want me to go in. When I express trepidation in executing a daily report due to less than stellar feedback, the response of "Do what you know in your heart to be right." well, let us just say, HR doesn't have enough forms for the verbal response that invoked. REALLY? You want me to follow my heart? WTF is this? The Karate Kid? We could describe the teacher in that movie and get an arrest! You, on the other hand, could walk into any given situation and steal a newborn child in a Ferrari, wearing the Hope Diamond, and no one would be able to provide the color of the pants you were wearing. Can you dig a little deeper you wing nut? Maybe tell me WTF you are looking for, so I don't have to guess? I am smart but not a freaking mind reader. I cannot put my head on my monitor and channel the underworld frequency you are on you FREAK!

Sorry. I know that went WAY off of random or Mom, but how much WTF can one person take in a day. Seriously?


Comments

  1. With the exception of the stoner aspects, this could pretty much have described my former VIP, "TommyBoy." Tho, where your boss is the stoner-mumbler, mine was an egostist and a racist. Good times!

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