hy·poc·ri·sy -[hi-pok-ruh-see]noun,pluralhy·poc·ri·sies.1.apretenseofhavingavirtuouscharacter,moralorreligiousbeliefsorprinciples,etc.,thatonedoesnotreallypossess. 2.apretenseofhavingsomedesirableorpubliclyapprovedattitude. I am guilty of it, although I do strive to not be a hypocrite. I don't tolerate other religions, or sexual preference or races or political affiliation.
I DON'T CARE to differentiate.
As long as your life doesn't involve the harm of a fellow biped or quadruped. I don't care who you chose to love, or worship, or vote for. If you don't beat or molest children or animals, or think blood sacrifice is of the utmost importance then I am about live and let live.
My guilt would stem from the fact that I laugh at jokes I probably shouldn't, or say things I shouldn't in a moment of thoughtlessness. The difference? I THINK. I am aware (and yes even ashamed of myself), BUT I DON'T WALK AROUND PRETENDING TO BE SOMEONE I AM NOT. If I even remotely th…
I get rid of the freaky serial killer and get stuck with a Jack Wagon of EPIC MAGNITUDE.
How are we a Wagon? Let me count the ways.
A) We like to inform everyone else about what a poor job EVERYONE before us has done, even if the everyone else WAS the persons performing said job.
B) No matter the process, WE HAVE A BETTER WAY TO DO IT EVEN IF IT TAKES 5Xs longer.
C) If you ask me for a time estimate, I shall ensure you fall asleep with my long ass explanation before ever actually getting to a point.
D) We are married to someone who is at least 15 years our junior and 5 hotness points above my 2, and everyone at the cube-farm just scratches their head.
E) We are not big on personal hygiene.
F) Our office is kind enough to let us wear FLIP FLOPS (yes you read that right) since we live on the Earthly Plane of hell and I like to take my shoes off at my desk for no reason.
I am sure there is more I am forgetting, but Those would be the top half dozen reasons right there.
I have seen how the world ends, and it is in the form of 4 innocent, free, Chicken Nuggets.
Obviously not in the literal sense, but had you been in my vehicle with me this past weekend with the 'Rent who was the lucky recipient of said Nuggets? Let us just say, the existential angst that these FREE nuggets caused, I really have no words for the trauma.
We got our hairs did on Sunday and on the way home we stopped at (insert name of fast food chain) who shall remain nameless to protect the innocent.
The order was placed.
The beverages were passed into the car (this was not without great confusion and trauma on the part of the server).
The 'Rent struggled with the straw wrappers so I had to help with that task. Not sure what was up with that.
My sibling had called during our hair doings, so I made the attempt to call her back. Note, this whole time she is on the speaker in the car, but the following happens because really, why would you let me conduct a full call?