Even a quiet reprieve has a price. . . . .

The spouse and I went away for a short THREE day trip from the deep South to Northern Ohio. We made the appropriate provisions for our Herd of Dogs. The smallest of the herd weighs in at 70+ pounds, so we were not leaving the 'rent in charge of the feeding and releasing of the hounds. That would cause us to end up with a broken or dead 'rent. Frankly that tends to ruin the reprieve premise.

The only task the 'rent had was to feed the cats. Bowls and food provided. They are indoor/outdoor cats and very low risk of broken anything. Open the door when they want to come in or go out. SEE PREVIOUS STATEMENT, the 'rent was IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HERD.

We left on our journey at 3:30 AM CDT. We had fed the herd and let them go do their doggie bidness and put them back up in holding until our friends could come by and take care of them. At some time around Noon I get a call from the 'rent, she of shortness of breath and frail being, to say she was going to go let the dogs out.

'Rent: "You didn't leave until 6 AM."
Me: <insert puzzled blank face here> "We left at 3:30, what are you talking about?"
'Rent: "Well I saw the lights on at 6 when I looked over there."
  • Notice this is where my UBER creep factor kicks in. She has this horrid creepy habit of keeping track of us by looking in my back windows because her back windows kind of face mine. At least now we have blinds but if the lights on, shes looking. This would not be the first time we have tried to address this little habit of hers, only to be disregarded. At some point I am going to let my husband loose to do some sort of mad streaking. . . . . .
Me: "No, We left a light on for when <insert neighbor's name> comes over to take care of the dogs. I am sure he has come and gone already."
'Rent: "I didn't see him."
Me: (in my head) WELL THEN OBVIOUSLY THERE IS NO WAY HE WAS THERE BECAUSE YOU KNOW ALL, SEE ALL, CONTROL ALL, DESTROY ALL. . . . . . Oh sorry, got away from the tale.
"he was coming over before work and then he will be back later"
'Rent: "Are you sure I don't need to take care of them?"
Me: "Yes, please do not attempt to do anything with the dogs. They are too large and you will only get hurt."

The weekend flew by with good friends and good times. On the way home, I made the mistake of calling the 'rent when we were about 5 hours out from the house.

'Rent: "Hello?" in quavering, pitiful, feel bad that you left me here for three days voice.
Me: "Hi Mom, we are headed home, I just wanted to check in and make sure you are OK. You will probably be asleep when we get home, but I wanted you to know we were relatively close."
'Rent: "Well I doubt I will be asleep. <insert name of one of our cat's here> hasn't come home for two days." (whimpering sounds accompany this statement)
Me: "Have you slept in two days? You sound terrible."
'Rent: "I CAN'T! <Insert cat name here> is MISSING."
  • We live in the country. The cat does this disappearing act about once a month. Usually anywhere from one to two days and then POOF she appears at the back door looking for some kibble.
Me: "Get some rest please? I am sure the cat is fine. We will see you in a bit."
'Rent: "I will try. (huge dramatic sigh)
Me: "Go to bed Mom, we will find the cat when we get home."

I hang up and look at my spouse and say, "Wow, I can't wait to get home." heavily laced with sarcasm.

We roll in at 1 AM and the cat is sitting on the back porch waiting to come in. I have a sneaking suspicion that the cat was there when the 'rent was NOT sleeping and was just missed. . . .

Fast Forward to the following day.
 I take the 'rent the mail that we brought in, and she asks about the cat. I tell her the cat came in. I get full on hysterical weeping and wailing.

WTF? OK, I love my pets, but the cat is a cat. Some day she is probably going to go off and NOT come home. The only way to prevent that would be to keep the cat in 24/7 and that is NOT happening. These are working felines people. They are responsible for the elimination of all vermin around the yard to keep the SNAKES out of the yard. Can't do that from in the house. Nope.....

So we went away and got some centering and peace, only return to HIGH DRAMA over A CAT...... I got nothin'. Really. I agree Maven, before you even say it. I do believe there is medication needed. . . .

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