Is there a secret Adult Club?

As life continues it's inevitable march forward and we all tick off some age related landmark or another, as a general rule we gather information that moves along with us. And while it is useful and wonderful to accumulate, I wonder why there wasn't a handbook of how to navigate the "Oh Shit" moments BEFORE we got there.

I know, I know. Someone will tell me that there are parents that have that knowledge to pass along. But in reality if you stop and think about it, most likely they were still trying to gather enough knowledge to just get along without killing their children through sheer frustration and surviving each day as it comes. It is like a never ending cycle of Craptastic Revelations with no end in site because NO ONE CAN PAUSE long enough in their paddle up Schit's Creek to help out a fellow paddler. AND by the time they have the knowledge that is worth passing along, the children have entered the age where anyone older is too stupid and vapid to take a life lesson from.

I think it would be most helpful to find someone pre-demential age that has a firm grasp on reality AND they have a decent disposition to not be the "I had to walk to school in 5 feet of snow, uphill both ways." person. I mean someone that has all of that knowledge and could pass it along to a person who could document it and make a user manual. It would be a the "Get your head out of your ass and do this!" book.  I know I would buy it. I would learn it. I would love it. Well, would have.

Since I have gotten to this point in my life I don't really want to go backwards and start over, I still wish I had made less mistakes of epic impact on the downward flow of my life. On the upside of those lessons is I have gotten to a place where I don't take anything too seriously. Crap is going to happen and you can't do anything to change it. You can roll with it and learn from it or get run over and whine about it. My choice is to laugh my ass off about most of it, because really it is too absurd to take to heart. Take what you can from it and let the rest go. Extra baggage of stupidity is just dead weight that will suck you under if you let it.

See, the manual I propose would tell you all this, and it would be mandatory reading for 5th graders. But alas there isn't one. I am sure there are attempts by the "learned" among us, but really, textbook mumbo jumbo is not what I was going for. I would even offer to write it myself but I am sure I would be the only person interested.


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