I need a moment to catch up

I had one of those experiences yesterday that took my brain several seconds to catch up to my eyes. Thank heavens my mouth did not engage before my brain did, which is usually the case.

I was roaming in the cube farm as I needed to enlighten some folks about some stupidity abounding. No one was around, and I happened to pass a specific pen, when I noticed the usually empty chair occupied. I say usually because said dweller has been out for surgery for a while. I have experienced similar surgery and would not trade places with this person for missing three months of drudgery for anything. Ever. It sucked that  bad.

Anyway, since the pen has been empty for so long I was startled to see someone in residence. That is NOT what left me speechless. The offending item was the resident's hair. It, in point of fact, caused a WTF moment if there ever was one. I am no spring chicken, and I know there are days when I probably look like I got dressed in the dark or forgot to check myself before I left the house. I tend to try very hard to mitigate those days. While I am no model, I try to make myself as presentable as possible. As in, age/weight/mental acuity appropriate clothing, hair, makeup, etc.

As I strolled by this cube, if I was to look in, I would expect to see the image of someone close to two decades older than I, while not old, appropriately groomed for their age/appearance. What I saw was hair of a much longer length and color than what one would expect.

My initial reaction, and what it continues to be is, You can put lipstick on a pig, it is still a pig. . . . Not to say this person is a pig, but they might as well have been wearing a a clown suit and big shoes for how incongruous their appearance was with this thing on their head.

While this person may have all of the confidence in the world to pull it off, and I would not hurt their feelings for the world by saying anything, I wanted to ask where the mirror they used was purchased. Because if you can look in the mirror and think, "DAMN I LOOK GOOD." I WANT ONE.

Point number two I would like to bring up is, I would hope my friends love me enough to tell me that something is a big fail. Perhaps not in those words, but at least, "Oh, honey. NO!" Something.

I don't want anyone to think I am a lipstick wearing pig. EVER.


  1. I need photographic proof of Pig-meets-lipstick. Srsly. You can pixelate things to save the person's privacy. Photobomb, ahoy!


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