Calling on my inner Zen?????
Date: June 12, 2012.
Time: 8:00pm-ISH
Conversation between the 'rent and myself.
Self: "I am going to take family photos tomorrow night after work of <insert friend's name here>"
'rent: "Tomorrow night?"
Self: "Yes, right after work, I am hoping to get out by 4. So I won't be here for dinner. I wanted to give you warning."
'rent: "OK, so you won't be here for dinner."
Self: "Right."
Flash forward ~
Date: June 13, 2012.
Time: 1:30pm-ISH
Come back from lunch to message light flashing on the phone. This is never good and can only be one person. . . . .
Conversation between the 'rent and myself.
Self: "You rang?"
'rent: "You are going to take pictures of <insert friend's name here> tonight?"
Self: "Yes. As I stated last night, right after work, I am hoping to get out by 4. I don't think I will be too late but won't be there for dinner."
'rent: "Well I took a roast beef out of the freezer but then put it away."
Self: "Just because I am not going to be home for dinner, you should still eat?"
'rent: "Well if you aren't going to be long, you can stop and pick something up."
This is where I stop talking and inhale deeply. See this is an attempt to get the guilt train out of the station and full speed into hell BECAUSE she spends most of her time alone (BY HER FREAKING CHOICE).
Self: "I have no idea how long it is going to take me, you should not wait on me."
'rent: "I just ate a big lunch, and now I am cleaning house so you can just pick something up on your way home since I won't be hungry for a while. And I don't know if <insert name of spouse here> is going out, but I assume he will call me if he is."
Self: "I have to go."
To the uninitiated, you would think this conversation is about food and feeding my poor housebound pitiful 'rent.
AW HELL NAW IT AIN'T. This is about control. I am going away with the spouse for the weekend. I have been working VERY long hours and not paying the proper and due homage to her with every spare breath I take. So I must now wear my hair shirt of shame and penance for not properly ensuring the Center of the Universe is kept properly in her place of significance. At this moment she is ranking about the same as a boil on my ass (in my mind). In her mind I am being a selfish and disrespectful child because I dare to assume that her non-wheelchair bound oxygen concentrating wearing ass is self sufficient enough to feed herself.
Time: 8:00pm-ISH
Conversation between the 'rent and myself.
Self: "I am going to take family photos tomorrow night after work of <insert friend's name here>"
'rent: "Tomorrow night?"
Self: "Yes, right after work, I am hoping to get out by 4. So I won't be here for dinner. I wanted to give you warning."
'rent: "OK, so you won't be here for dinner."
Self: "Right."
Flash forward ~
Date: June 13, 2012.
Time: 1:30pm-ISH
Come back from lunch to message light flashing on the phone. This is never good and can only be one person. . . . .
Conversation between the 'rent and myself.
Self: "You rang?"
'rent: "You are going to take pictures of <insert friend's name here> tonight?"
Self: "Yes. As I stated last night, right after work, I am hoping to get out by 4. I don't think I will be too late but won't be there for dinner."
'rent: "Well I took a roast beef out of the freezer but then put it away."
Self: "Just because I am not going to be home for dinner, you should still eat?"
'rent: "Well if you aren't going to be long, you can stop and pick something up."
This is where I stop talking and inhale deeply. See this is an attempt to get the guilt train out of the station and full speed into hell BECAUSE she spends most of her time alone (BY HER FREAKING CHOICE).
Self: "I have no idea how long it is going to take me, you should not wait on me."
'rent: "I just ate a big lunch, and now I am cleaning house so you can just pick something up on your way home since I won't be hungry for a while. And I don't know if <insert name of spouse here> is going out, but I assume he will call me if he is."
Self: "I have to go."
To the uninitiated, you would think this conversation is about food and feeding my poor housebound pitiful 'rent.
AW HELL NAW IT AIN'T. This is about control. I am going away with the spouse for the weekend. I have been working VERY long hours and not paying the proper and due homage to her with every spare breath I take. So I must now wear my hair shirt of shame and penance for not properly ensuring the Center of the Universe is kept properly in her place of significance. At this moment she is ranking about the same as a boil on my ass (in my mind). In her mind I am being a selfish and disrespectful child because I dare to assume that her non-wheelchair bound oxygen concentrating wearing ass is self sufficient enough to feed herself.
As a adendum . . . Went and took lots of fun and great photos. My friends and I then enjoyed a dinner together and went to their house to check out what I actually captured. My phone rang at 9:30, "Where are you? I thought something happened." Really?
ReplyDeleteHow the hell is it that I missed this blog update? OY OY OY.
ReplyDelete